121小说

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第18部分（第2页）

〃All　right。〃

〃Is　it　all　right？〃

〃Of　course。〃

〃I　did　everything。　I　took　everything　but　it　didnt　make　any　difference。〃

〃Im　not　worried。〃

〃I　couldnt　help　it；　darling；　and　I　havent　worried　about　it。　You　mustnt　worry　or　feel　badly。〃

〃I　only　worry　about　you。〃

〃Thats　it。　Thats　what　you　mustnt　do。　People　have　babies　all　the　time。　Everybody　has　babies。　Its　a　natural　thing。〃

〃Youre　pretty　wonderful。〃

〃No　Im　not。　But　you　mustnt　mind；　darling。　Ill　try　and　not　make　trouble　for　you。　I　know　Ive　made　trouble　now。　But　havent　I　been　a　good　girl　until　now？　You　never　knew　it；　did　you？〃

〃No。〃

〃It　will　all　be　like　that。　You　simply　mustnt　worry。　I　can　see　youre　worrying。　Stop　it。　Stop　it　right　away。　Wouldnt　you　like　a　drink；　darling？　I　know　a　drink　always　makes　you　feel　cheerful。〃

〃No。　I　feel　cheerful。　And　youre　pretty　wonderful。〃

〃No　Im　not。　But　Ill　fix　everything　to　be　together　if　you　pick　out　a　place　for　us　to　go。　It　ought　to　be　lovely　in　October。　Well　have　a　lovely　time；　darling；　and　Ill　write　you　every　day　while　youre　at　the　front。〃

〃Where　will　you　be？〃

〃I　dont　know　yet。　But　somewhere　splendid。　Ill　look　after　all　that。〃

We　were　quiet　awhile　and　did　not　talk。　Catherine　was　sitting　on　the　bed　and　I　was　looking　at　her　but　we　did　not　touch　each　other。　We　were　apart　as　when　some　one　es　into　a　room　and　people　are　self…conscious。　She　put　out　her　hand　and　took　mine。

〃You　arent　angry　are　you；　darling？〃

〃No。〃

〃And　you　dont　feel　trapped？〃

〃Maybe　a　little。　But　not　by　you。〃

〃I　didnt　mean　by　me。　You　mustnt　be　stupid。　I　meant　trapped　at　all。〃

〃You　always　feel　trapped　biologically。〃

She　went　away　a　long　way　without　stirring　or　removing　her　hand。

〃Always　isnt　a　pretty　word。〃

〃Im　sorry。〃

〃Its　all　right。　But　you　see　Ive　never　had　a　baby　and　Ive　never　even　loved　any　one。　And　Ive　tried　to　be　the　way　you　wanted　and　then　you　talk　about　always。〃

〃I　could　cut　off　my　tongue；〃　I　offered。

〃Oh；　darling！〃　she　came　back　from　wherever　she　had　been。　〃You　mustnt　mind　me。〃　We　were　both　together　again　and　the　self…consciousness　was　gone。　〃We　really　are　the　same　one　and　we　mustnt　misunderstand　on　purpose。〃

〃We　wont。〃

〃But　people　do。　They　love　each　other　and　they　misunderstand　on　purpose　and　they　fight　and　then　suddenly　they　arent　the　same　one。〃

〃We　wont　fight。〃

〃We　mustnt。　Because　theres　only　us　two　and　in　the　world　theres　all　the　rest　of　them。　If　anything　es　between　us　were　gone　and　then　they　have　us。〃

〃They　wont　get　us；〃　I　said。　〃Because　youre　too　brave。　Nothing　ever　happens　to　the　brave。〃

〃They　die　of　course。〃

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