121小说

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第4部分（第2页）

〃Good…night；　little　puppy。〃

I　knocked　over　his　candle　with　the　pillow　and　got　into　bed　in　the　dark。

Rinaldi　picked　up　the　candle；　lit　it　and　went　on　reading。

6

I　was　away　for　two　days　at　the　posts。　When　I　got　home　it　was　too　late　and　I　did　not　see　Miss　Barkley　until　the　next　evening。　She　was　not　in　the　garden　and　I　had　to　wait　in　the　office　of　the　hospital　until　she　came　down。　There　were　many　marble　busts　on　painted　wooden　pillars　along　the　walls　of　the　room　they　used　for　an　office。　The　hall　too；　that　the　office　opened　on；　was　lined　with　them。　They　had　the　plete　marble　quality　of　all　looking　alike。　Sculpture　had　always　seemed　a　dull　business……still；　bronzes　looked　like　something。　But　marble　busts　all　looked　like　a　cemetery。　There　was　one　fine　cemetery　though……the　one　at　Pisa。　Genoa　was　the　place　to　see　the　bad　marbles。　This　had　been　the　villa　of　a　very　wealthy　German　and　the　busts　must　have　cost　him　plenty。　I　wondered　who　had　done　them　and　how　much　he　got。　I　tried　to　make　out　whether　they　were　members　of　the　family　or　what；　but　they　were　all　uniformly　classical。　You　could　not　tell　anything　about　them。

I　sat　on　a　chair　and　held　my　cap。　We　were　supposed　to　wear　steel　helmets　even　in　Gorizia　but　they　were　unfortable　and　too　bloody　theatrical　in　a　town　where　the　civilian　inhabitants　had　not　been　evacuated。　I　wore　one　when　we　went　up　to　the　posts　and　carried　an　English　gas　mask。　We　were　just　beginning　to　get　some　of　them。　They　were　a　real　mask。　Also　we　were　required　to　wear　an　automatic　pistol；　even　doctors　and　sanitary　officers。　I　felt　it　against　the　back　of　the　chair。　You　were　liable　to　arrest　if　you　did　not　have　one　worn　in　plain　sight。　Rinaldi　carried　a　holster　stuffed　with　toilet　paper。　I　wore　a　real　one　and　felt　like　a　gunman　until　I　practised　firing　it。　It　was　an　Astra　7。65　caliber　with　a　short　barrel　and　it　jumped　so　sharply　when　you　let　it　off　that　there　was　no　question　of　hitting　anything。　I　practised　with　it；　holding　below　the　target　and　trying　to　master　the　jerk　of　the　ridiculous　short　barrel　until　I　could　hit　within　a　yard　of　where　I　aimed　at　twenty　paces　and　then　the　ridiculousness　of　carrying　a　pistol　at　all　came　over　me　and　I　soon　forgot　it　and　carried　it　flopping　against　the　small　of　my　back　with　no　feeling　at　all　except　a　vague　sort　of　shame　when　I　met　English…speaking　people。　I　sat　now　in　the　chair　and　an　orderly　of　some　sort　looked　at　me　disapprovingly　from　behind　a　desk　while　I　looked　at　the　marble　floor；　the　pillars　with　the　marble　busts；　and　the　frescoes　on　the　wall　and　waited　for　Miss　Barkley。　The　frescoes　were　not　bad。　Any　frescoes　were　good　when　they　started　to　peel　and　flake　off。

I　saw　Catherine　Barkley　ing　down　the　hall；　and　stood　up。　She　did　not　seem　tall　walking　toward　me　but　she　looked　very　lovely。

〃Good…evening；　Mr。　Henry；〃　she　said。

〃How　do　you　do？〃　I　said。　The　orderly　was　listening　behind　the　desk。

〃Shall　we　sit　here　or　go　out　in　the　garden？〃

〃Lets　go　out。　Its　much　cooler。〃

I　walked　behind　her　out　into　the　garden；　the　orderly　looking　after　us。　When　we　were　out　on　the　gravel　drive　she　said；　〃Where　have　you　been？〃

〃Ive　been　out　on　post。〃

〃You　couldnt　have　sent　me　a　note？〃

〃No；〃　I　said。　〃Not　very　well。　I　thought　I　was　ing　back。〃

〃You　ought　to　have　let　me　know；　darling。〃

We　were　off　the　driveway；　walking　under　the　trees。　I　took　her　hands；　then　stopped　and　kissed　her。

〃Isnt　there　anywhere　we　can　go？〃

〃No；〃　she　said。　〃We　have　to　just　walk　here。　Youve　been　away　a　long　time。〃

〃This　is　the　third　day。　But　Im　back　now。〃

She　looked　at　me；　〃And　you　do　love　me？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃You　did　say　you　loved　me；　didnt　you？〃

〃Yes；〃　I　lied。　〃I　love　you。〃　I　had　not　said　it　before。

〃And　you　call　me　Catherine？〃

〃Catherine。〃

We　walked　on　a　way　and　were　stopped　under　a　tree。

〃Say；　Ive　e　back　to　Catherine　in　the　night。〃

〃Ive　e　back　to　Catherine　in　the　night。〃

〃Oh；　darling；　you　have　e　back；　havent　you？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃I　love　you　so　and　its　been　awful。　You　wont　go　away？〃

〃No。　Ill　always　e　back。〃

〃Oh；　I　love　you　so。　Please　put　your　hand　there　again。〃

〃Its　not　been　away。〃　I　turned　her　so　I　could　see　her　face　when　I　kissed　her　and　I　saw　that　her　eyes　were　shut。　I　kissed　both　her　shut　eyes。　I　thought　she　was　probably　a　little　crazy。　It　was　all　right　if　she　was。　I　did　not　care　what　I　was　getting　into。　This　was　better　than　going　every　evening　to　the　house　for　officers　where　the　girls　climbed　all　over　you　and　put　your　cap　on　backward　as　a　sign　of　affection　between　their　trips　upstairs　with　brother　officers。　I　knew　I　did　not　love　Catherine　Barkley　nor　had　any　idea　of　loving　her。　This　was　a　game；　like　bridge；　in　which　you　said　things　instead　of　playing　cards。　Like　bridge　you　had　to　pretend　you　were　playing　for　money　or　playing　for　some　stakes。　Nobody　had　mentioned　what　the　stakes　were。　It　was　all　right　with　me。

〃I　wish　there　was　some　place　we　could　go；〃　I　said。　I　was　experiencing　the　masculine　difficulty　of　making　love　very　long　standing　up。

〃There　isnt　any　place；〃　she　said。　She　came　back　from　wherever　she　had　been。

〃We　might　sit　there　just　for　a　little　while。〃

We　sat　on　the　flat　stone　bench　and　I　held　Catherine　Barkleys　hand。　She　would　not　let　me　put　my　arm　around　her。

〃Are　you　very　tired？〃　she　asked。

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